The Clumpany

Read the latest Celtic news from The Clumpany. Follow @TheClumpany on Twitter.

The Clumpany · May 7

The ‘Celtic News Now’ Blog

Good Evening. Yes I know this blog isn’t the place you come to for actual Celtic news (although some still seem shocked at discovering this fact!)...

The Clumpany · May 7
The Clumpany · May 7

Jilted At The Altar

Good Evening. The warmer weather is often a sign that the wedding season is upon us...

The Clumpany · May 7
The Clumpany · May 5

A Conversation About Steven Gerrard

Good Evening. The Clumpany just had a phone call from my good pal Alan...

The Clumpany · May 5
The Clumpany · May 5

Here Comes The Bride!

Good Afternoon. The Clumpany has been handed a transcript of yesterday’s Gerrard Mania-Fest at Ibrox...

The Clumpany · May 5
The Clumpany · May 3

Paul Murray Deserved Better

Good Evening. Not appearing in any Scottish newspaper any time soon >>>>>> St Paul Of Murray: The Blue Room Martyr Former Rangers and Rangers Director Paul Murray was given a truly shameful send-off by the club he had served with such blazer-wearing distinction...

The Clumpany · May 3
The Clumpany · Apr 25

Wibble! Wibble! Wibble!

A Statement from a Stranger to the English Language and the Concept of Self-Awareness RANGERS notes Hibernian’s decision to not bow down before us and kiss our feet by slashing SLASHING our supporters’ ticket allocation for the final match of the Scottish Premiership season at Easter Road on Sunday, May 13...

The Clumpany · Apr 25
The Clumpany · Apr 24

No Really, What WAS He Doing?

Good Evening. Credit to these folk for providing the inspiration Singing: “What’s The Goalie Daein Tom?” And to Sevco TV for just being absolutely brilliant >>>>> Waste Oddity What’s the goalie daein Tom? What’s the goalie daein Tom? Take our skelping now and pray Moussa is gone...

The Clumpany · Apr 24
The Clumpany · Apr 21

The Union Bears Make A Cup Of Tea

Good Evening. Here is a statement that the Union Bears haven’t actually made >>>> Enough Is Enough The Union Bears wish to make it known that events related to the recent performance of Rangers against Celtic are simply not good enough...

The Clumpany · Apr 21
The Clumpany · Apr 21

A Desperate Plea To Dave King

Good Evening. The Clumpany didn’t see the following on a Sevco fans’ forum...

The Clumpany · Apr 21
The Clumpany · Apr 21

How To Deal With A Celtic Defeat

Good Evening. Here are some Clumpany tips following today’s Hibs-Celtic game...

The Clumpany · Apr 21
The Clumpany · Apr 13

The Scottish Cup Is Shite

Good Evening. The Clumpany has just received some very interesting results from The Clumpany labs...

The Clumpany · Apr 13
The Clumpany · Apr 11

A Statement From The Squirrel Party

Good Afternoon. The following completely fictitious ‘statement’ has made its way to Clumpany Towers...

The Clumpany · Apr 11
The Clumpany · Apr 11

A Phone Call To The SPFL

Continue reading “A Phone Call To The SPFL” on The Clumpany.

The Clumpany · Apr 11
The Clumpany · Apr 1

Scott Brown: Pretend Victim

Good Afternoon. Not appearing in today’s papers: >>>>>> The Celtic skipper dishes it out, and we are supposed to feel sorry for him when he pretends that he’s been wronged...

The Clumpany · Apr 1
The Clumpany · Mar 31

Smash A Fenian Day?

On 1st May 2018 The Clumpany urges all Protestants, Catholics in fact all sentient human beings to stand up and put small-minded intolerance in its place...

The Clumpany · Mar 31
The Clumpany · Mar 31

An Exciting Commercial Partnership

Good Evening. Here is a statement from Clumpany Towers: >>>>>> The Clumpany Announces A New Gaping Partnership The Clumpany is absolutely delighted to announce a very special gaping partnership for the coming season...

The Clumpany · Mar 31
The Clumpany · Mar 25

Money And Sporting Advantage

Good Evening. The Clumpany’s ethereal eye was caught by this piece in the Daily Record (yes, it still exists )...

The Clumpany · Mar 25
The Clumpany · Mar 25

Proper Cheating

Good Afternoon. Not appearing in a newspaper any time soon >>>>>> Spoils Cricket Australian ball-tampering appears to be an outrageous case of real cheating, and as such merits the most severe sanctions...

The Clumpany · Mar 25
The Clumpany · Mar 22

A Nasty Vomiting Bug

Good Evening. The Clumpany is feeling under the weather...

The Clumpany · Mar 22
The Clumpany · Mar 18

How Alex McLeish Became ‘Miss World’

Good Evening. Word reaches Clumpany Towers that there were absolute scenes at a recent ‘Monopoly and Nibbles’ Night at the SFA...

The Clumpany · Mar 18
The Clumpany · Mar 18

A Day Out In Glasgow

Good Evening. As you can imagine, The Clumpany is too busy get out of the ethereal splendour of Clumpany Towers very often...

The Clumpany · Mar 18
The Clumpany · Mar 16

Barry Ferguson Got Lucky

Good Afternoon. Not appearing in a mainstream publication anytime soon >>>>>> “” says the rest of humanity Everyone reckons that without a massive slice of luck, Barry Ferguson wouldn’t be darkening our door with the sort of opinions that are usually worthy of a very late-night conversation in the pub...

The Clumpany · Mar 16
The Clumpany · Mar 15

The Chocolate Fire Guard

Good Evening. The Clumpany loves a nice traditional open fire...

The Clumpany · Mar 15
Load More That's all Folks!
View the latest Celtic news

TMT#139 – Treble Yell

Welcome to the latest episode of Twenty Minute Tims.

S7E41 Tom Rogic’s Bleeper

We have a trio on this week as the two John’s are joined by Krys who returns.

Episode 45 – The World’s Greatest

Brendan Rodgers’ Celtic have become the first team in Scottish football history to win back-to-back trebles and we return to gush, gush, gush about a phenomenal weekend.

View fixtures League table

TeamPWDLFAGDPts
1 Celtic 38 24 10 4 73 25 48 82
2 Aberdeen 38 22 7 9 56 37 19 73
3 “Rangers” 38 21 7 10 76 50 26 70
4 Hibernian 38 18 13 7 62 46 16 67
5 Kilmarnock 38 16 11 11 49 47 2 59
6 Hearts 38 12 13 13 39 39 0 49
7 Motherwell 38 13 9 16 43 49 -6 48
8 St Johnstone 38 12 10 16 42 53 -11 46
9 Dundee 38 11 6 21 36 57 -21 39
10 Hamilton Academical 38 9 6 23 47 68 -21 33
11 Partick Thistle 38 8 9 21 31 61 -30 33
12 Ross County 38 6 11 21 40 62 -22 29

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