It's a pleasure to bring your attention to Craig Halkett, sent to earth on 29 May 1995, a gently ageing specimen at 29 years tender. Born and bred in Scotland, he's been saddled with the title of 'defender', which sounds much grander than it is. In all honesty, he's a chap who spends the majority of his time running around a field, trying to stop other chaps from kicking a sphere into a net and failing occasionally. His place of work is Hearts, where he struts about in the number 4 jersey, usually found loitering in the esteemed role of central defender. He stands at a modest 6ft (1.83m, if you're feeling continental), and tips the scales at a solid 13st 9lb (that's 87kg for those of you in the modern world).
Now, some faceless corporation known as Transfermarkt, suggests that the lad is worth around £255k. I suppose that's a fair amount, assuming you're in the market for second-hand football players. Should you feel so inclined to discuss the matter with Hearts, you’ll find he's on the books until 31 May 2026.
Now, let's delve into his colourful career thus far. Buckle up, it's quite a ride. In July 2012, our young hero joined Rangers...before promptly being loaned to Clyde in September 2014, where he graced the field a commendable ten times in the 2014 - 2015 season. In October 2015, he was whisked away to Berwick Rangers for the season, a spell marked by four thrilling league appearances.
Not satisfied with his current trajectory, in January 2016, Halkett transferred to Livingston, marking the beginning of what historians may refer to as 'the Livingston years', a landmark period in Halkett's career. Showing remarkable persistence, Halkett made 15 first team appearances in his first punchy season, peppering the nets with a decisive goal. As his tenure at Livingston persisted, seasons passed with a stream of appearances and an escalating quantity of goals, atmosphere in the dressing room was said to be very, very sweaty.
However, Halkett had bigger fish to fry, and so, marked by an extensive drive through the beautiful Scottish countryside, moved from Livingston to Hearts in July 2019. While his time with Hearts has been characterised by numerous appearances and a fair few goals, it's notable that he seems to be increasingly spending his time on increasingly cozy benches. While one keenly awaits the revival of the Halkett of old, he has managed to pitch in at the League Cup 2024 - 2025 and the Scottish Cup 2023 - 2024 for Hearts, so there might be life in the old dog yet.
So there you have it, Craig Halkett: a storied career in the land of kilts, bagpipes, and delightful whisky, for a player of solid, if not necessarily international, standard. No doubt his story is set to continue, for better or worse, in the ever-unpredictable world of Scottish football.
