If mediocrity were an Olympic sport, Dylan Lobban, born on that ever so memorable day of August 26, 2005, might've just nicked a bronze medal. A native of our homeland, the land of iron brew and waterlogged pitches, he took the utterly clichéd path of a lanky central attacking midfielder. For the less savvy among us, and for the Amsterdam coffeeshop owners who insist on measuring everything in metric, the lad is 5ft 8in (or 1.75m) tall and weighs in at 10st 9lb (that's 68kg to you, Monsieur Hollande).
Rather ambitiously, Lobban thought it right and proper to wear the number 38 jersey at his new club Aberdeen, hopefully not an indication of how many times he intended to give the ball away per game. But I digress.
In the unforgettable summer of 2020, our young hero left behind his teenage years and joined Aberdeen as a trainee in their Premiership squad. Pure thoroughbred stuff! No rentals, no frees, just a good ol' honest traineeship.
By 2023, an older but probably no wiser Lobban decided it would be a grand idea to take a Highland fling, transferring from Aberdeen to Formartine United on loan. In fairness, away from the daunting pressure of high-octane, technically nuanced Premiership football, who wouldn't want to play in the esteemed Highland League?
Come January 2024, Lobban then took another career-defining decision. He was back on the loan carousel, this time to Forfar Athletic in the high-ranking Scottish League Two. Six months later, presumably having watched enough paint dry, he returned to Premiership club Aberdeen.
Not yet done with the seductive glamour of frazzled grass and stale meat pies, Lobban timed yet another move perfectly in September 2024. Aberdeen shipped him off to Cove Rangers in the League One, again on loan. A wanderer, our young Dylan, ever in search of greener (or muddier) pastures.
Cut to 2025, and the world's most patient loanee returned once more to his parent club Aberdeen. On his return, he dared to dream and participated in the Conference League 2025 - 2026 season with a whopping four starts for Aberdeen. Talk about consistency, eh?
All in all, Dylan Lobban, a man for all seasons, a player for all leagues, and a near-constant presence on Aberdeen's loan sheet. One can only hope his dizzying career trajectory continues, for the sake of those who love a good round of musical chairs.
