Here's a look at the life of one Harry Milne, born on the frosty eve of 29th October 1996. As sturdy as a Highland cow and about as Scottish as haggis on Robert Burns' birthday, he's a 29-year-old defender who apparently prefers playing as a left back for the famed football grandees, Hearts. This towering specimen stands 6ft tall, or for those of us who prefer metric, 1.83m. He tips the scales at 11st 13lb, that's 76kg if your scales are more continental.
According to the fonts of wisdom over at Transfermarkt, our lad carries a market value of about €500k with him. For those back home, that's something in the range of £430k, as we shall not dare mention the attributes of Her Majesty in our currency conversation.
Hopping back to 2015, a naiive, unassuming lad called Milne decided to join the big leagues, or should I say, Cove Rangers in League One of Scotland. Oh, the dreams of youthful ambition!
But dreams don't die easily, do they? By July 2022, Milne decided he had enough of Cove Rangers and shimmied over to Partick Thistle, another Scottish Championship with a name that sounds suspiciously like a Hogmanay cocktail.
At Partick Thistle, Milne's narrative proceeds like the plot of a mediocre football novel. The debut season saw him make 28 thrilling appearances and even manage an outrageous tally of four goals. By the second season, a more jaded Milne turned out 34 times, scoring a whole goal less than the previous season. The romance seemed to flicker by the third season with a mere 17 appearances and three goals.
But alas, like every good story, a twist was in wait. In February 2025, Hearts decided they fancied a slice of the Milne pie, whisking him off to the Premiership for an undisclosed fee. How adventurous of them!
His stint at Hearts rings like a muted trumpet. In season 2024 - 2025, Milne stepped onto the pitch only three times in league matches. In the current season, he's managed all of 15 appearances and one solitary goal. Rumour suggests that Hearts' supporters are penning sonnets in his honour.
