Born on a lovely summer's day in 1990, Junior Hoilett (now quite senior at 35 years of age) hails from Canada, plays forward, prefers the left wing (who doesn't?), and runs around for Hibernian, quite ironic given he's about as Scottish as a bottle of maple syrup. He stands at a not-so-lofty 5ft 8in (1.73m for the metrically inclined), weighs in at 11 stone even (or 70kg for our European friends), and dons the number 23 on his jersey, as if that's particularly noteworthy.
In an unremarkable series of career moves, Hoilett surfaced at Paderborn 07 in the 2. Bundesliga in 2007, a second-tier club in what was then just about a third-rate league. He was there long enough to make 12 appearances and net a solitary goal before jumping ship to St. Pauli in 2008.
His stint at St. Pauli proved a touch more productive, as he scored a whole six goals in 26 appearances before his dabble in Bundesliga ended with a move to Blackburn Rovers in 2009 (and of course the Championship).
Hoilett, ever the journeyman, had a relatively eventful stint with Blackburn, playing 34 matches in 2011-2012 and scoring seven times, a relative scoring rampage for him. He then transferred to Queens Park Rangers in 2012 for an "undisclosed fee", a number so embarrassingly low they've decided it's not even worth mentioning.
His time at QPR was as bland as one could expect, scoring a hefty two goals in 26 appearances in 2012-2013. He then had a short hiatus before joining Cardiff City in 2016. In the following seasons, he had enough time on the pitch to tally a decent number of appearances and the odd goal here and there.
Desiring a change of scenery, he swapped Wales for England in 2021, moving to Reading. By now, it will not surprise you that Junior continued to play football, appear on the pitch occasionally, and net the seldom goal. Fortunately for him, MLS's Vancouver Whitecaps came calling in 2023, offering him a lifeline state-side.
Not content to stay still, he opted for a stint up North, joining Aberdeen for a brief (and forgetful) sojourn in 2024. The chance then arose to move to Hibernian in the heartland, and he took it, making 28 appearances and scoring four times in 2024-2025.
As for his love affair with peripheral competitions, Hoilett has warmed the substitute's bench a time or two for Hibernian in the League Cup, Europa League qualifiers, and Conference League qualifiers. Oh, and Hoilett's also appeared for the Canadian national team. Bless 'em.
