In the grand old game of football, there are defenders. And then, my friends, there's Kevin Mbabu, a lad who's espoused more clubs than a golfer with an impulsive online shopping habit. Hailing from the land of milk chocolate and neutral politics, Switzerland, Mbabu entered this world on the 19th April, 1995 making him a bit long in the tooth now at 30, relatively speaking of course. His particular brand of defence is usually played out on the right back, currently for FC Midtjylland, a team that sounds like they were named after a stag do gone wrong. He stands at about 6ft (1.84m for those of you partial to a metric system), weighs 13st (or 83kg), and sports the number 43 on his jersey which might bring to mind, for those with an appropriate sense of trivia, Richard Petty's NASCAR car. And if you have any spare change lying around, Transfermarkt believes he’s worth around a trifling £3m.
Our Swiss mercenary began his career with Servette in the Super League, for which he made a grand total of one appearance before floating over to Newcastle United - talk about jumping out of the fondue into the fire. He exchanged Swiss serenity for Tyneside turbulence in January, 2013, for a fee that even Edward Snowden couldn't uncover. And what did he do on the freezing northeastern shores of England? Play three matches in three seasons. I hear the toon's leisure facilities are top notch.
Then, like a cuckoo clock slightly out of sync, he ventured briefly up north to the Scottish Premiership in February, 2015 for a quick cuppa with Rangers - and promptly headed back down to Newcastle faster than you can say “deep fried Mars bar”. A pointless jaunt, unless his intention was to simply sample the culinary delights of Glasgow. The baffling ordeal must have been too much, for he hightailed it back to Switzerland in August 2016, to Young Boys Bern, a jaunt that saw him score three goals over three seasons and twenty-one appearances.
But the taste of Deutschland's sausage and sauerkraut must have been too enticing to ignore for in July, 2019 he sauntered over to Wolfsburg in the Bundesliga, shoulder-deep in fromage, for a hefty price of £8.3m. Following a flurry of goals and a slew of appearances over three seasons, he then chose to add jellied eels and mushy peas to his growing menu of transcontinental comfort food, closing in on Fulham for around £6.4m in July, 2022.
However, perhaps feeling a twinge of homesickness, or maybe missing his mother's raclette, he returned to Servette on loan in February, 2025 making 16 appearances. Before the Swiss Alps could scarcely heave a sigh of relief, he was back on a plane to Augsburg in Germany on another loan spell, thereby adding white asparagus and bratwurst to his culinary world tour. But the itchy feet that have defined our Kevin’s career flared up again, and he ended up in Denmark at FC Midtjylland for a fee that remains obscured to all but those with a direct line to Julian Assange.
And to make sure his frequent flyer miles didn't go to waste, he also showed up for Europa League qualifiers for FC Midtjylland in 2025. So there you have it. Kevin Mbabu, the Swiss Army Knife of football, darting between European leagues and cuisines like a culinary inspired Carmen Sandiego. Let's see where he packs his fork and heads to next.
