Let's tackle this carefully, shall we? I bring to your attention a certain Kieran Dowell, born on that fateful day of 10 October 1997, which unceremoniously makes him 28. Hailing from England, he is a midfielder with a peculiar fondness for the central attacking position at Rangers, despite his concept of 'attacking' often being a little cryptic. Proving that great things can come in uncomplicated packages, Dowell stands distinctly average at 1.86m (that's 6ft 1in in the Queen's... Sorry, old habits and all that), and weighs in at potentially surprising 70kg (or 11st for those sticking to their outdated systems). Instigated with the burden of the number 20 jersey, he appears to wear it with a level of aplomb only a mother could love.
Our meandering footballer started his odyssey in July 2014, when he tiptoed into Everton as a trainee. There, in his debut 2015 - 2016 season, he managed to grace the pitch twice, a momentous occasion no doubt marked in the annuls of Everton's extensive history. Then, as if his two appearances had cast too long a shadow over Everton, he was sent packing to Nottingham Forest in August 2017, a move as bewildering as his playing style. Miraculously, at Forest, he made 38 appearances and scored nine goals, causing people to ask, 'Who is this lad, and what have they done with the real Dowell?’
But as if not to become too comfortable, Dowell took another loan tour to Sheffield United in January 2019. Still in the Championship, he graced the Blades with his inconsistent presence, making 16 appearances and scoring two goals. The joy couldn't last, and he was extradited to Derby County in July 2019, managing ten illustrious first team appearances there. One could only wonder if he was attempting an encyclopaedic knowledge of England's second-tier teams when he arrived at Wigan Athletic in January 2020. In the austere League One, Dowell made 12 appearances and notched up an impressive five goals, by all accounts, a small-scale renaissance.
A whisper of £2m in July 2020 saw him carted off to Norwich City. Seemingly settling in the Championship surroundings, in two seasons he made 66 appearances and found the back of the net 11 times. However, come July 2023, Dowell decided to grace Scotland with his presence, sidling into the ranks of the Rangers. There, his performances were... how I put this gently... Well, they were distinctly Dowell-esque. With 38 appearances across two seasons and a paltry four goals, it was classic Dowell in action.
In a somewhat puzzling move, presumably driven by his insatiable desire for new training grounds, Dowell tripped off to Birmingham City on loan in January 2025, before hightailing it back to Rangers once the deed was done. As if in a twisted dèjà vu, he flaunts the Rangers jersey yet again in the 2025 - 2026 season, with two league appearances already under his belt. For those keeping count, he also participated in the League Cup and the Champions League Qualifiers for Rangers with a total of three starts and one appearance as the back-up option. And there you have it, ladies, and gents, the undeniably unique career of Kieran Dowell. One can only anticipate what overachievements he has in store next...
