Our man of the moment, Michael McKenna, ladled onto a plate on a rather cold Scottish day, 4th January 1991, has expended 34 long years on this gamboling green sphere we call Earth. Scottish through and through, this midfield magician weaves his craft primarily as a central attacking midfielder for the, let's just say, ‘distinctive’ team East Fife. The bloke stands 5ft 10in tall (1.78m for those needing an excuse to use their calculators), and tips the scales at 11st 9lb (a somewhat svelte 74kg).
According to that fabled tome of footballing fortunes known by all and sundry as Transfermarkt, our man McKenna is deemed to be worth a small fortune in monopoly money, or around £170k in real terms. Interestingly enough, his contract with East Fife, like a Cinderella’s pumpkin, is set to expire and turn to dust come the bewitching hour of 31st May 2025.
Now, let's drift back to July 2014. McKenna, younger and somewhat sprightlier, makes the leap from the Junior Teams in Scotland's Musselburgh Athletic to Livingston's call in Scotland's Premiership. His debut season saw him strut his stuff on the field 25 times, even managing to knock the old pigskin into the goalmouth once.
Fast forward to June 2015, and McKenna decides to pack his kit again, swapping Livingston's Premiership hills for the Lowland League territories of Berwick Rangers. His time there was sprinkled with a moderate degree of success, peppering the goal with three, four and six goals over successive seasons where he turned out 34, 27 and 19 times respectively.
January 2018 emerges and in typical McKenna fashion, he's off again. This time he seeks a new adventure with Arbroath in the Championship league. Four seasons see him dancing out onto the pitch 33, consequently 25 times, and given his proclivity for goal scoring, manages to stuff the net five and four times respectively. The man is a rock, just not a very big or successful one.
In an exercise of what I assume is masochism, McKenna goes for another transfer in 2024. He leaves Arbroath's Championship scene to smell the cut grass of Falkirk's illustrious Premiership. The next season sees him make a Juan Sebastian Veron-like impact with only a total of 17 appearances in league matches. Someone likes a bit of a long rest between games, don't they?
But wait, is he done? Not by a long shot! McKenna, seemingly still thirsting for a change of scenery, shuffles off to East Fife come January 2025, right into the arms of the League One in Scotland. A powerhouse performance sees him, oh wait, make no appearances! Just cracking!
If it's not enough that he didn't grace the pitch at all in the League, the 2025 - 2026 season sees him at the very least make one improbably lonely sortie onto the pitch in the League Cup, and also stub his toe with some effort in the Lge. One Play-offs 2024 - 2025 for East Fife, managing to knock one into the net in four starts. Now hasn't this been worth our time!
