On an unsuspecting 8th January 1991, a young Norwegian bloke by the name of Stefan Johansen took his first breath in icy Norway. Embarking on a career as a central midfielder, Johansen reached the height of 5ft 11in (1.82m) and weighed in at 12st 3lb (78kg). A sturdy figure in the midfield, one might say.
In what was presumably an earth-shattering move in Norwegian football that failed to ripple the waters beyond, Johansen joined Bodo Glimt in the Eliteserien in 2009. He test-drove the team in his debut season making all of five appearances. The subsequent season saw him risk exhaustion with 18 more appearances.
January 2011 signalled a change of scenery for our protagonist. He sauntered from Bodo Glimt to Stromsgodset, but stayed in the plush Eliteserien surroundings. Over three seasons, he built a case for himself with 67 appearances and eight goals.
By January 2014, blessed with an itch for turnover and a passable bank balance, Celtic in Scotland turned heads to sign Johansen for an impressive fee hovering around the £2m marker. With 16 appearances, two goals in the 2013-2014 season, and a noteworthy peak of nine goals in 34 appearances during the 2014-2015 season, Johansen etched his name into Celtic folklore. By the 2015-2016 season, however, the Celtic faithful were less seduced with a single goal in 23 appearances.
In a plot twist that surprised no one more than Fulham themselves, the Thames-based club dished out approximately £2m in August 2016 to acquire Johansen. During his turbulent tenure at Fulham over the course of trips to the Premier League, Championship, West Bromwich Albion, a loan spell at Queens Park Rangers, and then a permanent move (for a humble sum of £630k), Johansen became a fixture of inconsistency. For all his inconsistencies, though, he still managed to poke in 26 goals in 181 appearances.
In June 2023, in a move that was talked about as much as the wall colour of the local post office, Johansen transferred from Queens Park Rangers to an unmentioned team, which perhaps adds a certain mystique to the story. Or perhaps it was just a forgettable move.
Returning full circle, our intrepid globe-trotter kind of ended where it all began, joining Sarpsborg 08 in the Eliteserien in 2024. A watered-down version of his youthful self, Johansen made 28 appearances and coaxed in six goals.
As of 2025, the travelling show of Stefan Johansen unceremoniously sputtered to an unnamed destination in an unnamed league. Wherever he is, one hopes it's somewhere a little more exotic than the Eliteserien.
