Let's uncork, for the moment, the tale of the talented, but essentially footloose Mr Vaclav Cerny, born in the sparkling, flat winter of 1997 in the stoic Czech Republic, he now lends his prodigious talents to Rangers. Standing at a commendable 5ft 10in (or for those of you partial to the metric system, a nonetheless respectable 1.78m) and tipping the scales at 10st 9lb (68kg), Mr Cerny primarily graces us with his presence on the right wing - when he's not keeping the bench company, that is.
According to that infallible font of football truth, Transfermarkt, Cerny's estimated market worth is sitting at a cool €9.00m or £7.5m, if we want to speak in currencies that actually mean something. His contract at Rangers, bless it, has a scant four months left before it goes the way of the dodo on the 30th of June, 2025.
The nomadic journey of our dear friend Cerny is quite a read. Beginning his professional jaunt in the unforgiving climes of the Czech Republic with 1. FK Příbram in 2014, he was whisked away by the Dutch giants Ajax for a mere £650k. His time at Ajax was, shall we say, underwhelming, barely making a dent with a meagre 16 appearances over three tediously long seasons.
Having apparently worn out his welcome in Amsterdam, he then found himself at fellow Eredivisie side FC Utrecht in the summer of 2019. And, what a surprise, he was then loaned to FC Twente in 2020 where he wore the green and red for three somewhat more fruitful seasons. His yo-yo journey through Holland then took him to Wolfsburg in Germany in 2023 for an eyebrow-raising £7.7m, the currency conversion not doing much to hide the staggering figure.
Desiring a taste of the rain-soaked delights of Scotland, Cerny then joined Rangers on loan in 2024, where he currently graces the hallowed turf of the Premiership. His efforts for Rangers this season have certainly been commendable, netting 11 goals in 27 appearances.
But let us not forget his undeniably patchy international career. Cerny's appearances for Czech Republic have been sprinkled across a selection of League Cup, Scottish Cup, World Cup, Euro and Nations League fixtures. Never underestimate the value of a holidaying footballer.
For now though, we await with bated breath to see where Cerny will land next. Perhaps somewhere in Greenland?
