Paddy on the Railway

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Ours was that old cliché – quiet.

Now we’ve got Chowder Charlie Nicholas is joining in the ‘Hands off El Guffalo’ shite.

I can’t believe all the folk beating the drum for Rod Stewart; the guy’s a f*cking tosser...

“Awright, troops? Ah’ve taken ma baird aff jist noo, coz Ah’ve goat serious stuff tae say.

Well, they’re not taking things too well, are they? They’re all screaming about VAR and how officials have been cheating them all season.

Sorry I’ve been AWOL for a while, but it was in a good cause.

Honest Dave has been resignated, or, as our esteemed Fourth Estate are putting it, his work is done and, like God after the Creation, he’s needing a rest...

As you might expect, having lost my job and having our house repossessed, we’re up to our oxters in debt.

It’s more than a bit annoying to read, even on the Daily Record Hotline, that Ronny Deila was a failure at Celtic.

I see all the Celtic supporters in Rome are featuring strongly in The Peeppul’s prayers; they’re all praying that more folk get stabbed.

There was something familiar about the Lazio fans’ statement on an Italian radio channel the other day.

It’s that time of year again, when The Peeppul get their poppies out and invite sodjers to parade around the pitch so they can celebrate Soldier F or something.

An important message for Honest Dave. Der Fuhrer has confounded all expectations and is actually making money from those VHS tapes!

Cast your mind back to March of this year and Scott Brown celebrating Celtic’s victory over Neo-Gers at Celtic Park.

You have to wonder sometimes what the hell’s going on with the justice system in Britain.

JJ seems to be adamant that the game’s a-bogey as far as Neo-Gers are concerned.

There’s one thing that’s struck me about the Orange Wedding of the Year and that’s how the names of Rangers and Neo-Gers have been kept out of it.

The big story is that Neo-Gers have won some kind of award from the European Clubs Association for their charity work.

My late father-in-law (Der Fuhrervater) was a master of stating the bloody obvious, as well as dealing in facts in which nobody was interested...

Chowder Charlie is at it again, moaning about being ‘irritated’ by Odsonne Edouard’s lack of celebration when he scores against ‘lesser’ teams...

It looks like we’ve all been wrong about the Nazis; they weren’t the evil bastards we thought they were.

Well, the Orange Order and other assorted baboons will no doubt be congratulating themselves at their demo in George Square going off so peacefully.

There’s not much to discuss on the football front, other than yet another Neo-Gers player being compared to somebody that’s world class.