Ladies and gents, let me introduce you to Declan John, a Welsh-born list aficionado – truly, a footballer with more clubs than Tiger Woods. He was hatched on the 30th June, 1995 meaning he's currently sporting a grand old age of 30, even if his knees may occasionally feel a tad older.
Throwing his weight around - quite literally at 11st 11lb (75kg) of sheer muscle and ambition - he's nifty on his feet, for a lad standing 5ft 10in (1.78m) tall. Currently frittering his prime footballing years away with St Mirren, our intrepid left back defender dons the number 24 jersey, a choice only a mother could love. His market value is around £224k, according to the spreadsheet enthusiasts at Transfermarkt.
His inaugural football flight was to Cardiff City in 2011, which deserves a pat on the back I suppose – chalk and cheese compared to the noncommittal season dodging that was to unfold. At Cardiff City he made repeated cameo appearances between 2013 and 2017, and during this time, he also had two momentary dalliances with Barnsley and Chesterfield – presumably for a change of scenery.
A flight north in 2017 saw him donning the blue of Rangers - on loan initially, then as a permanent fixture. Bless him, he even scored three goals in the 26 appearances he made during the 2017 - 2018 season. Who said defenders can't score?
However, flying the coop in 2018, he migrated south to join Swansea City for a princely sum of £718k, where he appeared sporadically for two seasons before being loaned out to Sunderland. Then, off on yet another loan escapade, this time to Bolton Wanderers and later Salford City, probably just so he didn't feel left out on the chance that another club might hold a Christmas party.
By November 2024, after a messy, indecisive transfer from Bolton, he landed in the loving arms of St Mirren - a Premiership club, much to everyone's surprise. Their faith seems to have paid dividends though; between 2024 - 2025 he's made an impressive 18 appearances and scored two goals, and this current season, he’s upped his game to 29 appearances and notched a goal. Good lad.
He was even selected to start the League Cup and Scottish Cup – seven and three times respectively, not that he's counting. Show me a footballer who isn’t a mathematician at heart, and I’ll eat my hat.
