Our dear friend, Rabbi Matondo, pulled himself into the world on the 9th of September, in the year of the Y2K panic. Hailing from the rainy shores of England, this chap is a bit of an anomaly when you view him under the lens of his international record. Despite his roots lodged deeply in the soggy English mud, he's stood shoulder to shoulder with the Welsh squad over his footballing career.
Matondo is a forward, often found gallivanting down the left wing in his snug number 17 jersey for this wee club you might've heard of called Rangers. He's a compact lad, standing a mere 5ft 8in high (or 1.75m for those of us embracing modernity). A lean machine, he tips the scales at 10st 5lb (or an approximate 66kgs for the metrically inclined amongst us).
In the summer of 2016, our protagonist cut his teeth with football giants Manchester City (you know, that club with inexhaustible financial coffers) as a trainee. His stint there, however, was somewhat brief, you could say.
Come January 2019, he packed his bags, bid adieu to the British Isles, and shuffled off to Schalke 04 in the 2. Bundesliga (that's the second-tier league of our German friends) for a mere £8.1m. He made himself comfy in Germany by participating in a total of 30 league games over three seasons, managing to slip the ball past the goalie a grand total of twice. Impressive, innit?
In the winter of 2021, Matondo had another footballing epiphany, traded the Bundesliga for the Championship, and was temporarily bundled off to Stoke City in a loan deal. He graced the pitch in 10 league matches and found the net once.
Yet it appears our dear Rabbi wasn't done adventuring. One can only imagine his excitement when he hopped over to Belgium's Cercle Brugge in August 2021 while still under Schalke's esteemed employment. Making his mark in 26 league matches over one season and banging in nine goals, he must have thought he found his home. But alas, there was more wanderlust left to satisfy.
Matondo then made his way northward and ended up in Scotland, his footballing odyssey concluding (for now) at Rangers in July 2022 for a modest sum of £2.7m from Schalke 04. He's currently keeping himself busy in the 2024-2025 season, writing his love letters to the audience netside in the chilly Scottish air. Aside from appearances in some minor cup games and dabbling in a bit of Europa and Champions League action, Matondo has yet to leave an indelible mark on Rangers, or the Premiership for that matter. But who knows, the chap's got time.
He's made 42 first team appearances in league matches thus far, ensuring the net ripples a sum total of seven times. It seems Matondo is a man on a slow burn trajectory. And we'll be here, observing his farcical football wanderings and witnessing the strange fruits his labour brings forth.
