The Clumpany

Read the latest Celtic news from The Clumpany. Follow @TheClumpany on Twitter.

The Clumpany · Sep 19

How Rangers FC Was Shafted In 2008

Good Evening. Further to a number of non-stories from Scottish sport’s most self-respecting journalists and reputation-conscious media outlets, The Clumpany has been given some devastating information about the activities of a “prominent chairman of a club”* at the end of season 2007-8...

The Clumpany · Sep 19
The Clumpany · Sep 15

Stop Complaining, The SFA Is Right

Good Evening. The Clumpany noted with some mirth that the manager of Kilmarnock and the statement writer of Aberdeen FC have spoken out about horrendously inconsistent decision making by the SFA-overseen disciplinary process this season.

The Clumpany · Sep 15
The Clumpany · Sep 5

Celtic’s World Beating Transfer Window

Good Morning. The Clumpany was happy to pick up an award on behalf of the Celtic board last night.

The Clumpany · Sep 5
The Clumpany · Sep 4

The Gap Is Finally Narrowing

Good Evening. A few days ago, The Clumpany put an anvil and a racehorse next to each other.

The Clumpany · Sep 4
The Clumpany · Sep 4

Beheading For Sevco!

Good Evening. Surely The Clumpany will hear this on the radio in the not-too-distant future?!

The Clumpany · Sep 4
The Clumpany · Aug 11

Strangling The Goose That Lays The Golden Eggs

Good Evening. It has come to The Clumpany’s attention that a progressive, imaginative and ambitious golden egg-laying goose has wandered into the vicinity of Celtic Park.

The Clumpany · Aug 11
The Clumpany · Aug 11

What The Hell Is Going On At Celtic?

Good Afternoon. Surely not appearing on any Celtic-flavoured site or forum at any point 😉 >>>>>> Let’s All Shrug Our Shoulders According to well-informed sources close to Celtic Football Club no one has any idea whatsoever why the manager might be unhappy...

The Clumpany · Aug 11
The Clumpany · Aug 5

Is Steven Gerrard Paranoid?

Good Evening. The Clumpany has seen a number of folk commenting that Steven Gerrard appeared paranoid after today’s draw against an Aberdeen side so poor that they were mistaken for Sevco’s bank account early in the second half...

The Clumpany · Aug 5
The Clumpany · Jul 29

The Day I Saw The Beatles Perform Live

Good Evening. The Clumpany would like to share a very personal reminiscence with my long suffering readers.

The Clumpany · Jul 29
The Clumpany · Jul 27

Sevco’s Reply To Celtic’s Statement

Good Evening. Not coming to a ‘club’, ‘holding company’ or ‘engine room subsidiary’ website any time soon .

The Clumpany · Jul 27
The Clumpany · Jul 27

How To Back A Guaranteed Winner

Good Evening. The Clumpany doesn’t usually take an interest in gambling, but my good pal Alan – who I haven’t seen in ages – called last night to alert me to “the hottest prospect in the entire history of horse racing.” Alan tells me that this two year-old, four-legged wonder will be making his debut...

The Clumpany · Jul 27
The Clumpany · Jul 9

Sevco’s Medieval Approach

Good Evening. Probably not appearing in any attempted newspapers >>>>> We are a building a fortress here says Arfield The Rangers midfielder saw encouraging signs of fortification during the Light Blues’ truly magnificent 6-0 friendly victory against English high-fliers Bury.

The Clumpany · Jul 9
The Clumpany · Jul 8

How To Buy An Orange Sevco Top

Good Evening. Overheard on the streets of Glasgow >>>>>> William: “Hi Billy.” Billy: “Hi pal.

The Clumpany · Jul 8
The Clumpany · Jul 8

What’s The Problem With Roman Catholicism?

Good Afternoon. Let’s stray away from football for a few minutes and consider the above question.

The Clumpany · Jul 8
The Clumpany · Jul 8

His Big Mikeness Strikes Again

Good Evening. The Clumpany has greatly enjoyed the MSM’s coverage of His Big Mikeness’s latest legal manoeuvrings, which threaten to hinder sales of Sevco merchandise.

The Clumpany · Jul 8
The Clumpany · Jul 6

Giving Fck All To Sevco

Good Evening. Not appearing in an attempted newspaper any time soon >>>>>> New Signing Says “Fck That” The Ibrox outfit’s latest signing is determined to crush Celtic in his own unique way.

The Clumpany · Jul 6
The Clumpany · Jul 6

Stevie G’s Miracle Cure

Good Evening. The Clumpany didn’t see this advert anywhere >>>>>> Introducing! Sevco Pharmaceuticals are delighted to introduce a product which will revolutionise medical science.

The Clumpany · Jul 6
The Clumpany · Jun 29

Throwing Out The Trash

Good Morning.Glasgow City Council hasn’t issued the following waste recycling guidance 😉>>>>>>Green Bin Recycling What is it?

The Clumpany · Jun 29
The Clumpany · Jun 26

A War That Celtic Cannot Win

Good Evening. Probably not in tomorrow’s attempted newspapers >>>>>> Stevie G And Walter Go To War With Celtic The Champions League-winning Champions League winner plans to hold a summit with the Gers icon to formulate a plan to destroy Celtic.

The Clumpany · Jun 26
The Clumpany · Jun 24

Steven Gerrard Begs For Walter Smith’s Help

Good Evening. I am sure that I haven’t read this in an attempted newspaper somewhere >>>>>> Steven Gerrard Begs For Walter’s Help The Champions League-winning Champions League winner has probably indicated that he would break every bone in his body with an iron bar for the chance to benefit from the unique Rangers-tastic insights that...

The Clumpany · Jun 24
The Clumpany · Jun 24

The Worst Book I’ve Never Read

Title: The Squad Author: Phil Mac Giolla Bhain Genre: Thriller Publisher: Frontline Noir Help other online shoppers by entering your rating and review below.

The Clumpany · Jun 24
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View the latest Celtic news

TMT#150 – Saints & Sinners

Welcome to the latest episode of Twenty Minute Tims Celtic return from the international break and serve up a turd of a performance away to St Mirren.

Cynic Xtra – Rosenborg Thoughts

Welcome to the 90 Minute Cynic Cynic Xtra Podcast (@90minutecynic) with host Chris Gallagher joined by a panel of Christian Wulff and Alex Lawrence...

View fixtures League table

TeamPWDLFAGDPts
1 Hearts 5 5 0 0 11 2 9 15
2 Celtic 5 3 1 1 5 2 3 10
3 Livingston 5 3 1 1 6 4 2 10
4 “Rangers” 5 2 2 1 10 5 5 8
5 Hibernian 5 2 2 1 9 6 3 8
6 St Johnstone 5 2 2 1 5 5 0 8
7 Kilmarnock 5 2 1 2 6 4 2 7
8 Aberdeen 5 1 3 1 4 5 -1 6
9 Motherwell 5 1 1 3 6 9 -3 4
10 St Mirren 5 1 1 3 3 9 -6 4
11 Hamilton Academical 5 1 0 4 3 8 -5 3
12 Dundee 5 0 0 5 2 11 -9 0

Last match

Celtic 1-0 Rosenborg Celtic FC Celtic 1-0 Rosenborg at Celtic Park in Glasgow in the UEFA Europa League. 2018-09-20T20:00:00+00:00 2018-09-20T21:45:00+00:00
Celtic1-0Rosenborg
Celtic
 
Rosenborg

UEFA Europa League
20:00 20 September 2018

Next match

Kilmarnock v Celtic Celtic FC Kilmarnock v Celtic at Rugby Park in Kilmarnock in the Ladbrokes Premiership. 2018-09-23T12:30:00+00:00 2018-09-23T14:15:00+00:00
KilmarnockvCeltic
Kilmarnock
 
Celtic

Ladbrokes Premiership
12:30 23 September 2018