Welcome to the melodrama that is Rangers, a football team that sprang into existence, quite like an unplanned offspring, in 2012. Their battlefield, Ibrox Stadium, a sturdy edifice rightly placed in the magnificent land of the brave, Scotland.
The band of merry men, ahem, football players, is valued at roughly what one would likely refer to as pocket change for the likes of Sheikh Mansour, a measly £85m, according to the good ol' chaps at Transfermarkt.
The 'Gers boast a team made up of 31 players, a number perfect for aligning with the days of the month to avoid forgetting any of the lad's name, convenience eh?. They flit around the age spectrum with an average age of 24, blessing us all with a youthful exuberance that's almost palpable. Almost.
This season, as we know, the 'Gers find themselves galavanting across a brilliant five different competitions, a busy schedule indeed. It would seem as though the wedding planner got ahold of their competition commitments list. They’re currently parked in third place in the Premiership, made it to the semi-finals of the League Cup, tip-toed their way to the Fourth Round of the Scottish Cup, and teased us with their exploits in both the Champions League Qualifiers (Play-Offs) and the simply marvellous, Europa League (League Phase). Just splendid.